5 Sneaky Things Narcissists Do To Take Advantage Of You

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You miss the person you thought they were.. Rubicon Project This is an ad network. You described my friend and I perfectly. I started to cry and he got more and more angry… eventually turning very abusive just short of physical.

Eighteen days later he lives with no explanation. I even told him he could finally be happy that he won!

5 Sneaky Things Narcissists Do To Take Advantage Of You

People who are characterized under narcissistic tend to make situations about themselves, making their significant other feel unimportant. If this is prevailing in a relationship, it can do a lot of damage to the other person's self esteem, and in some cases can be difficult or dangerous to break up with the self centered individual. Attend therapy sessions to evaluate the problem and your current psychological condition. If your insurance won't cover it, or if you can't afford individual sessions, find a support team. Most women's advocate groups and domestic abuse shelters can give you excellent references. And yes, you are a victim of abuse. Use the therapy to learn everything you can about what can you do and say, and the intuitive signs you keep dismissing in yourself, that make you a perfect NPD narcissistic personality disorder victim. Learn everything you can about NPD. Become an NPD expert. There are tremendous resources literally available at your fingertips through any web-connected computer, just like the message you're reading right now. And when you think you know it all, learn more. There is no truer statement made, in the case of an NPD victim, than this: knowledge is power. Stop all contact with your NPD abuser. And just as with a narcotic addiction, that initial high will never happen again. If that is your case, and you cannot or do not want to move, engage your support group and local law enforcement officials in what you are doing and why; make them aware that you are afraid for your safety, and they will, in most cases, help you. Learn to defend yourself. Take a martial arts course, or learn to handle and effectively and comfortably use a weapon until it is second nature, get a license for it if necessary , and buy one for yourself. Buy a dog of a breed well-known for its owner-protective qualities, and make that creature your best friend above all others. Start a journal - today. Find a notebook at any local drugstore, keep a pen handy, and write down your thoughts every day. Keep working on your list, every day, as you remember things. You find yourself realizing that this person is truly mentally ill, and that there is nothing wrong with you; you just became a target, and you are now ready to move out of the firing range. Get rid of every reminder of your NPD - take that energy out of your home and your environment. Eject every item from your life. Donate them to charity, sell them, give them away, or throw them away, even if you like them. Perhaps the most amazing discovery you may make is that suddenly all kinds of genuinely nice people were coming into my life. Give yourself that same opportunity! Join a pottery class, or a yoga class, or a book club, or a birding group - whatever interests you! It doesn't have to cost money. Just put yourself outside of your home, and into the company of new people, and learn again how wonderful it is to have an active, normal social life without this huge black cloud dominating it. Give yourself time to grieve. Not for a while, anyway. The sooner you do so, the higher the likelihood that you will attract and get involved with another NPD. See 1 and 2 above. Not only has the relationship that you thought was perfect died, but that person you were involved with, the NPD, is not the person you fell in love with. You fell in love with something that never existed, and cannot exist, for those afflicted with this mental illness. You have to mourn your loss not of what was, but of what you believed could have been: but the sad fact is that your real loss is that it was all an illusion. Your belief was, and is, a false one. It does not have the capacity to be a he or a she. This sounds cruel, but the cruelty, in reality, has been against you, and you have a lot of healing to do. So take the time. See steps 1-7 above, and focus on you, because no one else has been doing so for the entire duration of your NPD relationship - not even you. When you have given yourself back to you, then you can think about what you want to do next. Does that sound familiar? Love yourself, just as you are, and give yourself time to learn once again how lovable you are to others... Most importantly, they've forced you to question yourself and your sanity. You do not become crazy. You are not the bad guy. You can come back from learned behavior. The thing is, a narcissist has a game plan in their minds and see the world through a very skinny tunnel, and refuse to see other people's point of views. If you try to end a relationship with a narcissist and they did not plan it, they may refuse to allow you to do so. In this situation, it's best to leave anyway and go no contact. They are mentally ill. Don't go near him, don't answer his calls or texts, don't comment on social media, etc. If you're not in contact with him, he will have nothing to tell law enforcement. If he continues to try to contact you, go to the police yourself and file a restraining order. Do not underestimate a violent NPD's reaction to being ignored by you. I was in a relationship with an NPR for more than 16 years! All along I've been thinking that I'm stupid and no good, not knowing what might be the problem. After reading this article, I realized that I've been living with a mentally ill man, and this has taken a load off my shoulders! I have been married for 15 years. At first, I felt like I was living a fairy tale. Now, I feel like I'm living in fairy hell. My husband has no regard at all for me or anyone, really. It took my psychologist to actually say to me that my husband was acting passive aggressive narcissistic behavior. It took that from her for me to look up the meaning and wow, oh but wow, I saw it, I recognized him in every sense of the word.

I never and will not idea no contact. All the opportunities we were told about concerning corporate contributions to the local Christian Charitable Organizations had nothing to do with loving one's neighbor. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. You tout loving them often years before you actually throw them out. It took me about 2 months to realise that things were not right. Photo copyright: All articles on this site reflect the views of the author s and do not necessarily reflect the views of other Recovering Social contributors or the leadership of the site. I am starting over, new everything, even career.